Have you finished your dinner, sir? If so, do you mind if I lie down on your plate? An Asian community has taken the adage about the poor benefiting from crumbs from the rich man's table literally.
Leftovers from high-ranking Brahmin class dinners are wrapped in banana leaves and spread over the floor at a temple in Kukke, a town outside Bangalore, India.
Low-ranking people then roll over them to absorb blessings, I heard from VS Karnic, a correspondent for the Indo Asian News Service.
Cool. I wonder if this works anywhere? I mean, could I just go to the restaurant at the nearest golf club and roll around in the lunches of the tycoons?
I'd love to try, especially if they were eating them at the time.
Talking of food, I have finally found PROOF that being fat is good for your health - in fact, it can save your life.
Last week, heroic-but-heavy bus driver Omar Alegria Campos, 33, threw himself at a gunman in Santiago, Chile.
The bad guy shot him, but Alegria's pot belly caught the bullet, preventing any serious damage. In a report on the incident from the La Cuarta newspaper, sent in by reader Wendy Tong, doctors said a skinny person would have been killed instantly.
Next time anyone says you're getting fat, just look deeply shocked and reply: "It's my bulletproof protective layer. You don't have one?!" *** MOVIE PIRATES in Sweden have set up a religion of copying, a website reported last week. The Missionary Church of Kopimism, set up by Isak Gerson, is founded on the principle that there's nothing wrong with stealing other people's ideas.
"To everyone with an internet connection: keep copying!" Gerson told an interviewer from TorrentFreak website.
Hmm. That has given me an idea. Here goes a revised news report: A newspaper columnist in Asia has set up a religion of copying. The brilliant new religion set up by me etc. etc. Muah ha ha, give him a taste of his own medicine. *** A CASTRATOR fish has been discovered in Papua New Guinea. The sharp-toothed Pacu fish sneaks up behind fishermen wading in rivers and - chomp! - takes a gruesome revenge on behalf of fish everywhere. The testicle-removing fish was shown last week on TV show River Monsters.
I hereby register a complaint against the Animal Planet channel for its GROSS IRRESPONSIBILITY in putting this dangerous information on television where feminists may see it. From now on I SHALL look extremely carefully before lowering myself into the bath. Send ideas and comments via www.mrjam.org